Friday, October 12, 2018

Get your butt in the game

One of the reasons I’ve wrestled with writing (beyond an immense pile of insecurities) is the ongoing nature of the beast. Is a piece ever really finished, even after you hit “publish”? Us writers. We can obsess and hash and re-hash and edit in pursuit of perfection like nobody's business.

I like things that have an obvious start and end point. I like check boxes and structure, a solid plan that I can follow. One and done and then I can move on to the next. I want to write something and then share it. Which is probably why blogging and article-writing has been my jam. I like that I can work on something for a week and then - BAM - have something to show for it. Instant gratification. But for all the wrong reasons. I'm not the world's most patient person in that sense.

God has been working in me of late. I feel him asking me to do something totally outside of my comfort zone and, can I be honest for just a second? IT SUCKS. I hate vague, uncomfortable assignments that are lacking in specifics. The long-term nature of this next step terrifies me. Who am I to take it on? I just want to write and share, write and share. Like I've always done. I want all the positive affirmation to keep me going. Gross, right? But true. I love feedback. Don't we all?

But the thing I'm learning about Jesus? He's rarely cool with us sitting in cruise control, doing the same ol', same old. He is after movement and growth and healing. He's about ripping us out of our comfort zones. But it's the tenderest sort of rip that he uses. It's painful and scary. And yet, so, so good.

I share all this today (albeit vague - I'm still shaking in my boots too much to say more) because I know myself. I tend to back down in fear. What if I fail? I don't start things if there is a chance I might fail. Better safe than sorry. So, I camp out, unmoving at the starting line. I'm outing myself for accountability. I have received a call and I can no longer ignore it. 

Last month, I received this truth: "He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work WE HAD BETTER BE DOING." ~Ephesians 2:10

I am fully equipped RIGHT NOW. He is with me. And I had better get my butt in the game.

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posted by kelsie